Lost and found- Valentine's Day

Date: 14^th February, 2010

Time: 6:45 AM (20 minutes before morning prayers begin)

Place: In my classroom

Me (Enters my classroom looking crestfallen. My laptop is missing since the day before.) What follows is Berne’s TA theory in full action.

V: Why are you looking saaaaaaaaaaaaaaad?

Me: I think I lost my laptop.

S: Did you look in your ‘office’? (They are very proud that their class teacher (also a PRO) is the only teacher who has an office.)

Me: Yes, I did.

S: It must be at home.

Me: No, it’s not, I checked. I looked everywhere, I couldn’t find it.

F: You only told us, “Try, and try till you succeed”.

Me: (Yeah..now hit me with my own shovel) Deep sigh!

V: Don’t worry, you will find it ma’am.

A cheery K enters the class: Happy ValenceTimes Day!!

Me: Errrrmm..what is Valentine’s Day!

K: (in disbelief) You don’t know????

(Teachers usually enjoy a demigod status. There is NOTHING that they are not supposed to know)

Me: Nopes!

V: When you like somebodyyyyy, you give them a card on Valencetimes day, and they become your Valencetime.

I’m enjoying this now, and its helping me take my mind off the 45+ suspect list that I’ve been making since yesterday.

Me: I am not sure I understand that.

F: Why don’t you look in the internet??

V: Ma’am doesn’t have her laptop remember silly.

(You won’t let me forget that, will you?)

The school bell’s ringing puts me out of my misery and signals the beginning of yet another day....

P.S: I found my laptop

Valentine Wishes from my archives

Compound Sports

During a lull in the Sports Day rehearsal..R- the most creative kid in my class remembers what he’s just learnt in English class- compound words

R: Ma’am..Pointing to Keagan his friend..Key and Gun- Keagan.

Me: Hmm.. now that’s interesting.

R with a renewed interest in the new sport, looks around for more ‘examples’ and finds Sandeep, Anand, etc. and continues his dissecting explorations. He turns his attention to Achuth.

Me: (Hit by a zillion sonic booms)

R: Misses Achuth and looks around for greener pastures.

Me: Phew!!

'Dhut'ing

Getting back in touch with 2 of my college friends, thanks to Facebook, has brought a now extinct word back to me.. 'dhut'ing.. I never got what it really meant...any clues?

Class Encounters

Me: (to 7 year old girl,who is wearing glasses for the first time) Good morning, angel!!
7 Y O: (sulking) Angels don’t wear glasses.
Me: ……………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Another time, same class.

Me: What’s happening, T?
T: (Grumpy) R is disturbating me.
Me: ……………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Breaking Wind

I’m substituting in a class. Most of them kids are busy, studying for their forthcoming tests. Suddenly two boys start laughing. I give them an enquiring look. “Ma’am, he farted.” “Errm, it's called 'breaking wind'"I correct him hastily. “Wind?” asks the boy, “he can break the wall with that tornado!”

Swine flew!!

My class invents a swine flu hug, a swine flu high-five and a swine flu handshake!!!

Mumbai Terror Strike

Mumbai is under terrorist attack once again. This time high profile hotels and restaurants are under fire. Oberoi Hotel, Taj Hotel, and Leopold’s in Colaba have been targeted. There’s news about a hostage situation in the Taj. Reports of shooting in hospitals and some hotels in Juhu are coming even as I’m writing this post. I wonder what Mumbai will wake up to tomorrow morning.

Is the 'common man' now off the terrorist radar??

Pay Attention!

An unusual thirst!

So I’m at the only South Indian restaurant in a city in Gujarat (yeah! I work there now) waiting for my bisi bele huli anna. My colleague-friend is on the phone and I’m left to my own devices. I take a quick look around at the people engrossed with their food. Bored, I watch the goings-on outside the restaurant. Bang opposite the restaurant is a roadside stall serving Chinese food. What it lacks in ambience, it makes up for in speedy service. A group of people enter the restaurant and occupy the table next to ours. After deliberating on what to order, they start chatting not bothering to keep their voices down. Darn! Where’s my food!! My friend’s still busy with her phone. I focus on mine and work on Feng Shuing (read-uncluttering) my inbox ever bursting its seams with text messages. Food's served now, finally. Suddenly I hear a woman’s voice loud and clear, “I don't know about you, but I cannot resist Cock.” I wheel around to see who is so bold enough to air her sexual preferences in public, just in time to see the woman sip out of her favourite soft drink bottle! And almost deep-throat a spoonful of bisi bele huli anna.

Quotable quotes

"I like being a mess, its who I am."

- Ally McBeal