A Small Victory

Update! My woes finally came to end on March 3, when Reliance finally credited the incorrectly deducted amount to my account.
*Does the victory dance!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

Creativity

At the end of a Creative Writing activity that I'd taken up, an 8 year old came up with this fantastic piece!

A bee stung a drunk,
and then it went,
and dashed against a tree trunk.

How to Prevent ...........?

Complete the question..

Attn : Mr. Anil Ambani

Exactly a week ago, I came across an ad somewhere- The Happy 2006 offer from Reliance. It promised customers Free Talk time worth Rs. 2006 (Valid for 2 months) + 2006 SMSes free. My old cell was already in its last stage and I succumbed to the temptation and went in for this offer, despite well-intentioned warnings from friends.

Everything was OK till the evening of 17^th February. I tried to download a Ring tone and gave up because it got stuck midway. I cancelled the download cos I had to make a call. Later that night my balance was Rs. 1990. The next day I went out of town for a picnic. I left my ‘new’ cell at home. In the evening I tried to call up my mother, and was shocked to learn that my balance had come down to 66 Paise. Innumerable calls to Reliance Customer Service didn’t yield any results. They were uncooperative and most of the time sounded like ill-programmed robots, rattling off their Quality Policy. Earlier on, they were not able to get the details, as their system was either hung (hanged- to quote Reliance Customer Service) or getting upgraded. When I asked them to escalate the issue, I was told that the superiors had left for an emergency meeting. A few more calls later, I was told that the amount was deducted because I had been downloading Ring tones. I was then promised that the matter would be ‘escalated’ and the issue would be resolved in a few hours incase the error had occurred on their side. I visited the Reliance Infocomm website and dashed off a few mails to the Chairman, and yet the issue hasn’t been resolved.

At present the matter has been referred to the Technical Team, who has not been able to figure out that one cannot, even if one wanted to, download 284 rickshaw errr.. ring tones overnight. Either something is wrong with the handset- LG6230, or there is a problem with their software.This should go down as the most expensive ring tone in history, (and one that never got downloaded at all) I’m sure I could have watched Bryan Adams perform live for the same amount.

I haven’t been able to make any outgoing calls or send a single SMS from my cell since 18^th February, and it’s driving me crazy.

Valentine Wishes

Suggest a suitable title for this one...

You are late. You finally manage to hail an auto rickshaw. You contain your irritation while he misses the right-turn and lets the whole world drive past his vehicle. You urge him to drive faster and guide him through short cuts. At last you reach your destination. Fare despair! You shell out a 50-rupee note. He grins and declares that he has no change. You shake off the irresistible urge to wring his neck till he turns blue but time is running out on you. So you dig into your purse/ wallet looking for the exact amount. (You could give any excavating archaeologist a complex) You finally find a tenner. All you need now is some loose change. You look for a five-rupee coin to expedite the process. No such luck! You manage to scrounge up some 50- paise, one- rupee/ 2- rupee coins and if you are really running out on your luck and time, some 25-paise coins. You add up the coins to the required sum, you still fall short of a rupee. Exasperated, you dig inside your coin purse and pockets wasting precious moments in the process, to find that elusive rupee…Your fingers finally strike gold…err…metal. You heave a sigh of ephemeral relief. The metal that you managed unearth is a five-rupee coin! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!
Start all over again: (

A Hair- Raising Experience!

So, I’m walking down the corridor and this child walks up to me. She wants to know whether I have coloured my hair. Her friend cuts in to correct her, “Silly! Miss has highlighted her hair.” 

Reactions from colleagues and friends ranged from “Wow!” to “Great!” Mom frowned and made her disapproval very obvious.

Flashback moment!

My tenth standard exams were just over and we had a long vacation before Doomsday (read day of results) dawned. Save the nightmares I was having about my results, my days were fun! It was a season of firsts! It was the first time I went out for a movie and an outing with my friends. I was delighted and emboldened. Raring to reach new heights of my new- found independence. 

It was one of those afternoons that my friends and I were browsing through girlie magazines. One of us chanced upon a recipe for making a hair-removing wax. We went about collecting old rags, lemon and sugar and excitedly set upon the task of waxing our legs. About a couple of hours and burnt skins later, it was my turn. Wow! My legs looked great! An afternoon well spent, I said to myself. Stupid me, I was so caught up in the moment that I had totally forgotten about my mom.

I came back home, ‘cos it was time for my mom to get back from her workplace. Then suddenly it hit me! Drat! Mom would never approve (to put it very mildly) of this depilatory act of mine. Afraid of facing her, I performed the world’s fastest hair transplant. I drew small lines on my legs using a black ball-pen. Yes, I did! And continued to do it religiously everyday till my hair grew back again. :P

Let’s talk about sex

I still remember my first skirmish with sex, rather the word 'sex'. I was 9 and somehow had gotten into this habit of filling up those forms found in kiddy mags like Chandamama, Champak etc and sending them to addresses that promised freebies like craft activities, recipes for Monaco toppings etc. It was while I was filling one of those on a lazy Saturday afternoon, that I saw the word sex. Little did I know that the tiny harmless looking word would get me into so much trouble. It had a dash (yes, that’s what I called blanks those days) against it. I left it for later, filled in the other entire details… name, age, address, birth date, etc… and now for sex!

I ran to the other room where my mom who had just come from her work (Saturdays were half-days) was chopping some vegetables. It was not the best time to ask questions when she was tired… nevertheless this couldn’t wait. It was Saturday it had to go today…(doing some mental calculations) it should reach the company by Tuesday, and next week I should have the freebie in my hand. So I snuggle up to mom and in my sweetest voice ask,” Amma, what is sex?” She looked scared for a moment (perhaps I was mistaken) because in the very next moment, a slap landed across my face! I didn’t know what had hit me, yes I did, it was my mom’s hand smelling of onions… not a very pleasant smell. Despite the pungent onion smell, it took a while for the tears to come. I didn’t dare to ask her what I had done to deserve the slap, besides, I had more serious issues to worry about, my ‘How to make a pencil box’ booklet was at stake. So I went back to my ‘coupon’ not knowing what to do with my unanswered question. I started cutting the coupon neatly along the dotted lines albeit, half-heartedly, I was sure they wouldn’t send the freebie because I had left a 'dash' unanswered. I was copying out my address neatly on the envelope. It was then that I noticed mom in the room. She had calmed down and was trying to look as mild as possible but I could sense her anger and there was something else that I couldn’t comprehend. She asked me, “How did ...who told you about s.s..sex? Wordlessly, I handed over the coupon to her. A wide grin spread across her face when she read the word… bent down..hugged me, kissed my tear stained face, and told me the answer was ‘female’. Well things were OK later…and I didn’t get any stinging slaps, but that incident was enough to keep me off from asking questions for the rest of my childhood. The next time, I simply used the dictionary.

Years later, I often laughed the loudest when a ‘non-veg’ joke was cracked. I was too shy to ask friends. Most of my knowledge of sex came from Agony columns of women’s magazines.

I’m glad things are a shade better today. Lots of schools impart sex education and kids don’t hesitate to get their doubts cleared from their teachers and parents.

Me..with the folk group

A young Rajasthani folk dancer