Have you ever gone a long train journey & felt trapped with a co-passenger or two who drive you up the wall? If yes, skip this post. Read on if you haven't met your nemesis yet.
So, I’m in this boring air-conditioned compartment, foggy windows..and I cant look out. A half-read book that I have picked up and put down several times! I miss the cacophonic shouts of vendors selling chai..kaapi. For company we have Mr. Oil-running-down-his-face and Mrs. Skinny-Dumb-Grim face. Man and wife go about tucking their baggage safely under their berth.. one sidelong glance at me that makes me feel like a Chambal ka Daaku : (
Munch time! Man and wifey can put Mr. Bean’s putting-together-a-sandwich-on-a-park-bench act to shame. Grim-face pulls out a big bag of puffed rice and places it on a spread out newspaper. Mrs Grim-face and Mr. even grimmer than grim face start to partake the meal. Man now regales wifey with tidbits of information that he has obviously picked up from the well thumbed, ‘Trains at a Glance’. Wifey seems super awed by hubby… and rewards him with a bag of chips. I grit my teeth as they take sadistic pleasure in biting noisily into the crispies. A passing vendor provides momentary relief with his melodious rendering (did I say cacophony earlier on? Feigns ignorance) of “Kaapi…Kaapi”. I’ll spare you the details of Man haggling with vendor over the cost of coffee and the slurping sounds that follow : (
I almost forgot to mention about Cool-Dude a 25-something, the other co-passenger. All my attempts to strike up a conversation with him come to a naught. He is more interested in reading up the half-a-dozen Commando comics that he is carrying with him. I wanna screaaaaaaam!
So I try and focus on my book- Bare Bones by Kathy Reichs. And just when I reach an interesting part…
Man: Are you really going to read till 10 p.m?
Me: Errm..
Man: We have the habit of sleeping early. (Sic!)
Me: (looks at cool-dude, shrugs, sulks)
I’m too polite and tired to protest lest Mr. Grim-face lectures me on the virtues of sleeping early. I put away my book, grab my blanket and try to sleep.
Man pulls out a suitcase, unlocks it, carefully pulls out his nightwear, locks his suitcase, goes to the washroom, changes, pulls out his suitcase yet again, in goes the carefully folded shirt and trouser, out comes the scarf, locks the suitcase, pushes it back under the berth. Sigh!
Me in my jeans and tees looks comparatively under-dressed.
I try and squeeze my eyes (and ears shut) as a series of plastic bags crackle to life and die in succession. Sounds of plastic bottles being twisted and crushed out of shape. The place looks like a Poltergeist was just here. I turn to the other side and try to think of happier times…music.. friends.. books..THIS ISN’T helping a BIT! Try movies…the beach.. the mountains...SEX! Man choses this exact moment to chant his prayers and me goes, “God forgive me for I have sinned : (“
Man helps wifey get on to the upper berth. Man and wife create a dust storm as they shake out the blankets and make sure there are no roaches or lizards lying in wait for them.
Lights off!
I close my eyes shut and go off to Zzz-land only to wake up to the noise of russstling plastic bags. Husband and wifey get into the morning routine. Out comes a bag…a toothbrush.. an oil bottle?
Moral of the Story: I’m not gonna be travelling for a long long time…
