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Thursday, August 25, 2005

Under the Microscope...

I first began teaching when I was 18/ 19, when friends would approach me to get their doubts cleared. I started taking up tuitions of my next-door neighbours (now very good friends of mine) at the request of their mother. By the time I graduated ( 1993) , I had made up my mind that I wanted to take up teaching as a profession. Easier said than done! My parents wanted me to become a Chartered Accountant, but nothing could make me change my mind because by that time, I had realised that even after 5 nightmarish years of studying accounts, I wasn’t really able make any sense of what my teachers had tried to teach me. Much to the chagrin of my parents and brother I applied for a teaching job ( I needed to be working to get admission to a part-time course in B.Ed) in a school located in a god forlorn part of the city.

After a brief interview, I was appointed as a teacher in the Secondary Section. I was to take up English in Class 5 and Economics Class 10. Whew! Now I thought that teaching English to the 10/ 11 ear olds would be a cakewalk and it would be a pain to teach Economics since I really really hated the subject.

And here’s what happened on the very first day of my teaching career. I entered the class a very confident teacher, armed with my English textbook, all set to wow the children with my teaching . The lesson was about Microscopes. I explained the lesson in great detail showing them pictures of microscopes and flashcards of new words. ( I must mention that 90% of the children were first generation learners and most of them would converse with me only in Hindi) so after I was through with my droning I encouraged them to ask questions if they had any. I was pretty sure that I had done a great job and that there would be none… one hand went up and I nodded at its owner (actually dared him) to go ahead and ask his question.

Boy: Teacher..(thoughtful pause) germs/ micro organisms bahut chote hote hain na? (The germs/ micro organisms are very small aren’t they?)

Me: Yes, they are very tiny.

Boy: Hum log unko dekh nahi sakte hain na? (We can’t see them with a naked eye, can we?)

Me: Nahi..Err, no. (getting a li’l panicky now)

Boy: To phir usko pakadke microscope mein kaise daal sakte hain? (Then how can we catch them and put them under the microscope?)

You could have knocked me down with a feather. Don’t even ask me how I wiggled my way out of that question! I won't be able to answer you anyway. I think I lost time ... just blanked out and honestly I have no memory about what took place in the next 10 minutes.
What I do remember is my resolve to be a good teacher (when I came to). Well, I have been true to my word, and 12 years and several schools later I have 2 awards for being 'the best teacher in my section' and several appreciation letters to my credit. That incident was surely THE turning point in my life! Today I make sure that I am more than thoroughly prepared before I enter a classroom... 'cos I wouldn't want to cut a sorry figure in my class ever!
*Grin*

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Baby talk!

Kids are so funny. Just when you think nothing they say can surprise you anymore something like this comes along and says, “Think again!” Sometimes I am amazed at the things they come up with.

Last week I was walking down the stairs with this teacher who is in the family way.
A chubby cherub walked up to us and asked the teacher:
What is the matter teacher? Your stomach seems to be growing everyday!
Teacher: (squirming uncomfortably) Err... God put a baby in my stomach.
Girl: (nodding her head wisely) Oh! So you are reproducing…

We really had to exercise super control over our facial muscles on this one!

Monday, August 01, 2005

Oh No! Not Again!!!

Oh dear God! It's happening all over again:((

Incessant rains

Water logging

Rising water levels

Traffic jams

Stranded people

Power failures

Unpotable water

Dead phones

No trains

Delayed flights

Floating vehicles

Forced holidays…

Loss of lives

Wiped out households

Tragic stories

Panic attacks

All this plus what’s left of Torrential Tuesday

Rotting debris

Unbearable stench

Floating Carcasses

Undiscovered bodies

Missing people

Muck

Grime

Well-founded fears

Rumours

Unfounded fears

Government apathy

Jokes about govt. relief work and its empty promises

Looming on the horizon is another dark cloud…an impending epidemic

God save us Mumbaiites! Please keep us in your prayers…