I still remember my first skirmish with sex, rather the word 'sex'. I was 9 and somehow had gotten into this habit of filling up those forms found in kiddy mags like Chandamama, Champak etc and sending them to addresses that promised freebies like craft activities, recipes for Monaco toppings etc. It was while I was filling one of those on a lazy Saturday afternoon, that I saw the word sex. Little did I know that the tiny harmless looking word would get me into so much trouble. It had a dash (yes, that’s what I called blanks those days) against it. I left it for later, filled in the other entire details… name, age, address, birth date, etc… and now for sex!
I ran to the other room where my mom who had just come from her work (Saturdays were half-days) was chopping some vegetables. It was not the best time to ask questions when she was tired… nevertheless this couldn’t wait. It was Saturday it had to go today…(doing some mental calculations) it should reach the company by Tuesday, and next week I should have the freebie in my hand. So I snuggle up to mom and in my sweetest voice ask,” Amma, what is sex?” She looked scared for a moment (perhaps I was mistaken) because in the very next moment, a slap landed across my face! I didn’t know what had hit me, yes I did, it was my mom’s hand smelling of onions… not a very pleasant smell. Despite the pungent onion smell, it took a while for the tears to come. I didn’t dare to ask her what I had done to deserve the slap, besides, I had more serious issues to worry about, my ‘How to make a pencil box’ booklet was at stake. So I went back to my ‘coupon’ not knowing what to do with my unanswered question. I started cutting the coupon neatly along the dotted lines albeit, half-heartedly, I was sure they wouldn’t send the freebie because I had left a 'dash' unanswered. I was copying out my address neatly on the envelope. It was then that I noticed mom in the room. She had calmed down and was trying to look as mild as possible but I could sense her anger and there was something else that I couldn’t comprehend. She asked me, “How did ...who told you about s.s..sex? Wordlessly, I handed over the coupon to her. A wide grin spread across her face when she read the word… bent down..hugged me, kissed my tear stained face, and told me the answer was ‘female’. Well things were OK later…and I didn’t get any stinging slaps, but that incident was enough to keep me off from asking questions for the rest of my childhood. The next time, I simply used the dictionary.
Years later, I often laughed the loudest when a ‘non-veg’ joke was cracked. I was too shy to ask friends. Most of my knowledge of sex came from Agony columns of women’s magazines.
I’m glad things are a shade better today. Lots of schools impart sex education and kids don’t hesitate to get their doubts cleared from their teachers and parents.
